A Novelty Item

"Why on earth did you buy that!?" Polly asked, bewildered.

"It looked... unique... And besides, it was a quid, so why the hell not?" I blushed slightly. In hindsight, it was kind of an odd thing to pick up, but I liked amusing her.

"You were supposed to buy actual antiques, remember?"

"Yeah, well, I can probably sell it for more than that, even if it's not technically old."

"I'm actually certain that you were the only person out there to even give it a second look. How much did they ask for it?"

"A quid?" 

Polly laughed loudly at that. "Of course."  

"I agree, it's a bargain, exactly." I mused, "Anyway, aren't we looking for bargains?"

"Yes, but you know it only works if the seller under-values the thing you buy in the first place."

She had a compelling point. "The old woman there said it had been cursed, so it could have some value." My partner made a deliberate effort to scoff excessively, but I continued, feeling more and more silly. "She said her sister or someone used it to punish delinquents at St. Peters."

"Oh honey..." she cooed, "For the last time, St. Peters is not a school for secret witches."

"You don't know that!"

Misfire

I'd literally just put Sarah to bed when I heard the door go. Her antisocial-to-say-the-least big sister slammed into the hallway, predictably drunk and more than likely dragging an equally intoxicated one night stand in behind her. I'd met more of them than I ever wanted to. It's also the only plausible reason why she'd be stumbling into the hallway so early.

I heard a new voice - wait, is that a girl?

I sighed quietly, looking down at the carpet inches below my face. One of Sarah's favorite cuddly toys was just out of reach, thrown deep under Kate's enormous bed during six pm "Toy Hide and Seek" play.

I need to get out of Kate's bedroom ASAP. She is a drunk college dropout spending every waking moment either drinking, fucking or complaining, and she'd be pissed that I even stepped into her palace. When I thought about what she'd soon be doing, I looked sorrowfully down at the bunny wabbit. Oh the things you're about to hear.

"I'll come back for you, Mrs. Snuggles, hold tight." I whispered, giving the little bunny a quick salute, before reverse-crawling slash shimmying my way out from under the enormous bed as fast as I could.

I had been able to get to Mrs.Snuggles twin brother out, at least. He was called Bob.

I was almost free when I felt a small tug under my left armpit. The fairy wings I was wearing - from five pm dress up - caught on the bed panel. I groaned. Wonderful.

DrEamScApe

A rehash of a short story that I came up with that somehow ended up being quite long. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Also, PLEASE leave comments, even anonymous ones! I'm a feedback whore, trust.

Also, contains very strong language and is a bit dark. Dark is always fun though, right?

Is This, You Know, Real?

*BANG!* I bolted upright in my bed, my head spinning as it frantically tried to wake up. Light tore painfully into my eyes like daggers as my back arched through the hot, sweaty duvets. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t see, I couldn’t even hear my own hell, and as I twisted and turned, I felt as if I was drowning in my own claustrophobic clusterfuck of quilts.

If I could shout, I’d be screaming madly for some kind of mental reassurance! What the fuck is going on!?

As my heart pounded, the world around me began to focus; the pale pink canvas of my dimly lit bedroom spiraling into view.

Then I sighed. Oh, well fuck! Another bloody fucking nightmare! A reoccurring terror of dreamlike insanity that had recently developed a grip on my soul! One by fucking one, the every single damn thing that reminded me of my innocence was being violently stripped from me. One by one I’d grown to fear everything about my youth. It sounds fucking pathetic, but tonight my cuddly toys scared the shit out of me… Tonight marked the moment where I could have nothing back…

The Magic Pacifier

Sasha was a complete eBay fanatic. She claims she turns a profit buying stuff cheap and reselling it, but her latest box of random shit didn't look very promising. My attention was caught by a small, pink pacifier.

"Why did you buy this?" I asked, taking it out. "You know it's for babies, right?"

"Yeah!" Sasha replied with a blush, "Of course I know it's for babies. I only got it because the woman said it was cursed." That made me giggle.

"You’re such an idiot." I mused, throwing it at her.

Age Appropriate

"Dani, please stop messing around. We're just here for a few groceries."

I looked up at my girlfriend, grinning dumbly, riding the cart past her towards the front entrance. "This is fun, try it."

"Danielle." Claire repeated. "Please, you're in heels for God's sake."

My black leather platforms certainly were not very helpful, but I'd done this a thousand times.

"I'm just having some fun." I replied, hiking myself up on the handle bars and pushing myself forward, not at all concerned about the fact that my skirt is almost certainly not performing the duties of a skirt right now as it flipped up against my lower back. "Don't be a- UMFH!" I collided with a bollard that I swore came out of nowhere. The car trying to park beside me screeched to a halt, inches away from my hip. I gave the old man driving the thing a quirky grin and my middle finger, adjusted my cart, and began another short sprint to get some nice speed.

"DANI!" she screamed suddenly. "STOP!"

I didn't, but the cart most certainly did. I was flung, ass over head, flipping into the trolley, slamming my face into the metal. The pain shot through me, and my eyes watered as my body slumped awkwardly, caught. 

"Oww!" I  whined playfully, looking up at Claire. Claire looked like she wasn't in a playful mode. In fact, she'd gone white.

"Baby, it's fine, I'm completely fine."

"No. Look!"

I followed her gaze, rubbing the tears from my eyes as I caught sight of myself.